She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You took a bar mat shot.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
