There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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