Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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