why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
