Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
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my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
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Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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