it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
