Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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