It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
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It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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