I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
