We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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