Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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