i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
