U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize