sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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