I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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