just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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