mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize