i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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