Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
