it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
