just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize