The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
splinters make it hard to masturbate
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize