video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
