whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
