mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
