Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You can't just leave with hair like that
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
