ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
