Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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