very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
