It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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