I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
