So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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