Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
