No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
