Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
