He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
