What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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