So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize