this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
