Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I heard we made out
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
