life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
