i was born a porn star she said
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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