i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
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Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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