Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
