Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
