Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
