meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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