I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
