I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
