I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize