I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I want to make a zoo with you.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
