Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
