WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
you never un-have a 4some
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
