I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
