You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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