remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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