you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
