have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
