Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
