U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
