she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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