That's intense
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
