i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
