youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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