Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
