Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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