ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Vodka?
Forever.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Randomize
