You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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