I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Drunk is not a location!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
