I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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