At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
