i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
time to smoke my breakfast
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
